"There are evil doors on the ship now that change location that sing to you until you walk in and then you get stuck in a freaky sub-dimension that preys on your fears specifically until it spits you back out and they suck."
“I’ve got renewals on my ‘hate getting pursued down long corridors’ and ‘hate repetition’ licenses, but I'm alive.” He also can’t actually remember most of it at the moment, which is probably a Bad Thing, but oh well. “I’m just glad that the evil doors are clearly labeled, unlike some of the other things we’ve had.”
"Does anyone like those things?" he asks in good humour.
"Good to know, though. Not like those dreadful memory cracks. I was certainly glad to see the backside of those, I'll tell you that. What do the evil doors look like?"
"Nobody likes them, but I've got a VIP deluxe pass on hating it."
He drums his fingers on the table in thought. "Just... doors, mostly? Wooden, has a little handle, might have those four rectangles engraved on it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it looked like any other kind of door. The thing about them is that they sing to you. Beckoning you closer. They try to appeal to your curiosity. I probably could've waited them out, but I was..." sigh, "on patrol at the time, and I didn't want to just leave it there."
There's a small squint of curiosity to Ossie's demeanour, but he doesn't pursue that. If Phil wants to tell him what he means by that, he will.
"Thank you, I'll make a note of it. And definitely stay indoors. Potentially keep Mr Ainsel in, too. You know what they say about cats and curiosity. Sorry- did you also say you've been doing patrols?"
"Ever since I stopped having to cook, call insurance companies, answer emails, go to work, call relatives, go grocery shopping, and pay bills, I had a lot of free time on my hands."
Wow, Ossie doesn't usually feel rich since there's no currency here, but there's a brief moment where he feels like such a rich asshole for. The fact that Giles handled literally all of that back home, except for some brief stints early on where he had to work. To be perfectly honest he'd forgotten those were things people had to do.
"Still. You take breaks from the patrols and such, right?"
"Oh, sure, yeah. I have a lot of hobbies to fill out my time. I whittle with Erin, paint with Security, lie around watching whatever shows Darcy has on their laptop. Catch up with my other friends, whenever I see them. I read a lot in the library. Draw on my own time. Practice piano. Do a little ice sculpting. Take weather measurements. Make fun new chemistry experiments in the kitchen. Stare out to the sea."
His talon taps against his teacup. "Trust me, I've had a lot of practice in killing time. I'm an expert in being bored."
"... Well, I still might burn out, but it won't be my fault." A light chuckle.
He picks away at his breakfast then, leaving it there for a bit so that he has a bit more room to eat and think. Breathe in the air and the fragrance of the cottage. Have breakfast with tableware that isn't from the dining hall or the buffet or any of the same handful of joints he's been seeing every day for the past year and a half.
Ossie's happy to leave it there for the moment. He somehow miraculously manages to keep Phil's exact pace in eating- little party trick from Arcadia that he can't stop doing- and he very nearly decides to leave it there, but...
Well, the ring is a little hard to miss.
"We, er- we didn't so much as graze your newly-found widowerhood. Rita, was your wife, yes?"
He didn't especially want to bring it up, since it's by now a given, a shadow that hangs in every corner of his life and always will, but. If Ossie's going in that direction.
"I mean... what do you want to know? I'm... sad? Lot of grief. Sun keeps turning anyway. Still have to feed myself. The works."
What is it about feelings that can and do swallow you whole and alive that makes you talk like that.
"Well- it's hardly what I want to know, I just... er, rather, you did mention it as one of the matters at hand."
He does recall Phil talking about her, little bits and pieces here and there.
"The inevitability of the world turning is one of the more frustrating parts of it. In dealing with grief, I mean to say. Terrible business. I myself wish I knew how to deal with it more aptly."
"Mmmm, well. Grief's a little funny. Even when you sort of figure it out after the first time, it all seems to go out of the window when it swings around again."
He swirls a spoon in his tea. "I don't know, it's just... there all the time? Some days are worse than others. You just gotta live. Y'know, Rita and I talked about what to do if something happened to either of us that left the other one behind, but I didn't think it'd be like this." He gestures vaguely. "All that stuff about hospice, wills, life support... I guess I don't have to worry about that now. There really isn't anything I can do. Except remarry, but."
He shrugs with one shoulder, looking not all that excited about the idea.
"This is perhaps an obvious question, but... Do you want to?"
Ossie tilts his head a little, as if to stress it.
"There are plenty of widows and er's who choose not to remarry, you know, even if it is allowed and all that. You needn't be alone, of course, but you understand that it isn't a requirement, yes?"
A soft laugh. "Of course I do. I know it's my choice if I do or not, but whatever the case, I also know I have Rita's permission."
A beat. "Do I want to remarry? Not really. At least not right now. It's... I think I still think about her too much for it to be fair to anyone else, and my life isn't exactly, well--stable enough at the moment for me to imagine it, especially given that I haven't been interested in anyone in that way. Of course there are some of us who went ahead with marrying here anyway, but at the moment? I don't know. I don't think so."
"What about something less strenuous, then? Even in my day we didn't jump directly into marriage- you know, dates and other diversions. Again, hardly a requirement, you don't have to. But it is also an option. No commitment, just to enjoy someone's company."
"I mean, I... I did the sleeping around thing. The amount of women's beds I weaseled my way into could populate a city block. And then it stopped being fun, and I got so depressed, I just. I don't know."
There's a pause as he stares at his hands, clasped in front of him on the table. "I kind of just cosigned myself to being a 'date to marry' kind of guy after I got bored. The other thing is--when I was sleeping around, I wasn't always. Honest? I was a jackass whose only care was getting his rocks off, so I used to find ways to lie to them and pretend I wasn't a complete stranger; a college classmate, some old coworker, it didn't matter. I'd badger them. Find the right thing to say. And then I could check them off a list."
He grimaces. "Ugh. I still get heebie jeebies thinking about how many consent rules I must've broke. I know I'd do things differently now, of course, but I haven't exactly had a reason to try. I've been kind of scared to, honestly. Having a fling, I mean. Up 'till a year ago I was pretty exclusive."
Ossie wrinkles up his nose a little- can't help it. Even before Arcadia he was notable among his companions for radical ideas like 'listening to women when they talk' and 'asking what they like' and 'eating pussy without being asked'.
But Phil wouldn't begrudge him his own leaf turning over, and the Wyrd knows that Phil seems to be flagellating himself sufficiently that he has no interest in assisting. So he does not, in fact, start off with 'your technique could use some fucking work'.
"I suppose you're only lucky in that you start from a place of knowing what you don't want, which is a far more fruitful position to be in than not knowing anything. And you seem terribly clear as to what the faults of this approach were. A lack of honesty, and a lack of interest in anything aside from 'getting your rocks off'. How would you approach it differently this time?"
Phil scoffs, but the gesture's turned inwards. "Ask, for one f--one thing, and not lie? Work up to it? Talk to them and get to know them as a person beyond a name to cross off? Make my intentions obvious, see if the attraction's mutual and back off if it isn't. Only go for people I actually care about in some capacity and not just a pretty face. Make sure we both know where the boundaries are. I mean--basic stuff, right?"
Look, he hasn't done flings in decades. All the things he has practice in are stuff he's thrown out.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-10-31 07:31 am (UTC)Another sip of his tea. Surely the cup should be finished by now, but somehow there's still liquid in it.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-01 03:54 am (UTC)"There are evil doors on the ship now that change location that sing to you until you walk in and then you get stuck in a freaky sub-dimension that preys on your fears specifically until it spits you back out and they suck."
no subject
Date: 2023-11-02 01:14 am (UTC)Evil doors, what will they think of next.
"Goodness gracious. Absolutely awful. I'd ask if you're alright, but," he just sort of gestures.
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Date: 2023-11-02 07:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-05 07:39 am (UTC)"Good to know, though. Not like those dreadful memory cracks. I was certainly glad to see the backside of those, I'll tell you that. What do the evil doors look like?"
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Date: 2023-11-09 07:47 am (UTC)He drums his fingers on the table in thought. "Just... doors, mostly? Wooden, has a little handle, might have those four rectangles engraved on it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it looked like any other kind of door. The thing about them is that they sing to you. Beckoning you closer. They try to appeal to your curiosity. I probably could've waited them out, but I was..." sigh, "on patrol at the time, and I didn't want to just leave it there."
no subject
Date: 2023-11-10 08:14 am (UTC)"Thank you, I'll make a note of it. And definitely stay indoors. Potentially keep Mr Ainsel in, too. You know what they say about cats and curiosity. Sorry- did you also say you've been doing patrols?"
no subject
Date: 2023-11-11 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-12 10:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-13 01:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-13 02:00 am (UTC)Wow, Ossie doesn't usually feel rich since there's no currency here, but there's a brief moment where he feels like such a rich asshole for. The fact that Giles handled literally all of that back home, except for some brief stints early on where he had to work. To be perfectly honest he'd forgotten those were things people had to do.
"Still. You take breaks from the patrols and such, right?"
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Date: 2023-11-13 02:09 am (UTC)His talon taps against his teacup. "Trust me, I've had a lot of practice in killing time. I'm an expert in being bored."
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Date: 2023-11-15 09:57 pm (UTC)"Good. At the very least, I don't have to worry about you burning yourself out with stress from all that you get up to."
... at what point did he start feeling less like a confidante and more like a schoolmarm? Odd.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-22 06:52 am (UTC)He picks away at his breakfast then, leaving it there for a bit so that he has a bit more room to eat and think. Breathe in the air and the fragrance of the cottage. Have breakfast with tableware that isn't from the dining hall or the buffet or any of the same handful of joints he's been seeing every day for the past year and a half.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-22 06:57 am (UTC)Well, the ring is a little hard to miss.
"We, er- we didn't so much as graze your newly-found widowerhood. Rita, was your wife, yes?"
no subject
Date: 2023-11-24 09:33 am (UTC)He didn't especially want to bring it up, since it's by now a given, a shadow that hangs in every corner of his life and always will, but. If Ossie's going in that direction.
"I mean... what do you want to know? I'm... sad? Lot of grief. Sun keeps turning anyway. Still have to feed myself. The works."
What is it about feelings that can and do swallow you whole and alive that makes you talk like that.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-29 04:07 am (UTC)He does recall Phil talking about her, little bits and pieces here and there.
"The inevitability of the world turning is one of the more frustrating parts of it. In dealing with grief, I mean to say. Terrible business. I myself wish I knew how to deal with it more aptly."
no subject
Date: 2023-12-26 10:02 pm (UTC)He swirls a spoon in his tea. "I don't know, it's just... there all the time? Some days are worse than others. You just gotta live. Y'know, Rita and I talked about what to do if something happened to either of us that left the other one behind, but I didn't think it'd be like this." He gestures vaguely. "All that stuff about hospice, wills, life support... I guess I don't have to worry about that now. There really isn't anything I can do. Except remarry, but."
He shrugs with one shoulder, looking not all that excited about the idea.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-01 09:43 am (UTC)Ossie tilts his head a little, as if to stress it.
"There are plenty of widows and er's who choose not to remarry, you know, even if it is allowed and all that. You needn't be alone, of course, but you understand that it isn't a requirement, yes?"
no subject
Date: 2024-01-01 10:21 pm (UTC)A beat. "Do I want to remarry? Not really. At least not right now. It's... I think I still think about her too much for it to be fair to anyone else, and my life isn't exactly, well--stable enough at the moment for me to imagine it, especially given that I haven't been interested in anyone in that way. Of course there are some of us who went ahead with marrying here anyway, but at the moment? I don't know. I don't think so."
no subject
Date: 2024-01-08 06:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-08 08:02 am (UTC)There's a pause as he stares at his hands, clasped in front of him on the table. "I kind of just cosigned myself to being a 'date to marry' kind of guy after I got bored. The other thing is--when I was sleeping around, I wasn't always. Honest? I was a jackass whose only care was getting his rocks off, so I used to find ways to lie to them and pretend I wasn't a complete stranger; a college classmate, some old coworker, it didn't matter. I'd badger them. Find the right thing to say. And then I could check them off a list."
He grimaces. "Ugh. I still get heebie jeebies thinking about how many consent rules I must've broke. I know I'd do things differently now, of course, but I haven't exactly had a reason to try. I've been kind of scared to, honestly. Having a fling, I mean. Up 'till a year ago I was pretty exclusive."
no subject
Date: 2024-01-08 08:36 am (UTC)But Phil wouldn't begrudge him his own leaf turning over, and the Wyrd knows that Phil seems to be flagellating himself sufficiently that he has no interest in assisting. So he does not, in fact, start off with 'your technique could use some fucking work'.
"I suppose you're only lucky in that you start from a place of knowing what you don't want, which is a far more fruitful position to be in than not knowing anything. And you seem terribly clear as to what the faults of this approach were. A lack of honesty, and a lack of interest in anything aside from 'getting your rocks off'. How would you approach it differently this time?"
no subject
Date: 2024-01-08 09:05 am (UTC)Look, he hasn't done flings in decades. All the things he has practice in are stuff he's thrown out.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-08 09:08 am (UTC)"If it was basic, you wouldn't need to be taught it, and you'd have already been doing it."
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